Have you ever been angry at God?
Angry at the Almighty?
Tell God the Truth
Have you ever had angry thoughts toward God, even if only for a second, in a children’s cancer ward, a nursing home, a housing project, a courtroom, or in front of images of dead bodies being pulled from a club? If you answered yes, then the important thing to realize is:
You are not alone.
You feel alone, I know.
I know this because I often feel the same way, but really, nothing could be further from the truth. You feel alone not because you really are alone but because of the nasty, unwritten faith-law that demands we keep such “sinful” thoughts secret and hidden from each other.
I have decided—as would be the case with any other friend I truly love—that not telling God what’s on my heart is like badmouthing God inside the closet of my mind.
I am coming out of that closet as a Christian who is, some of the time, very upset at God. Okay, a lot of the time. Sometimes I am angry, I don’t understand and the cliché’ “God has it all under control” doesn’t make it better. God already knows this anyway, I imagine, because as Psalm 44:21 says, God “knows the secrets of our hearts”.
Job told God exactly how furious he felt and God did not run away from him, shouting, “Traitor!” or “Sinner!” Instead, God showed up. When I am angry at God, I secretly want this more than anything. Most people who are really angry at God just want God to come back home, already, and stop being a run-away. Stop being silent.
Though God’s whirlwind explanation to Job might fail to satisfy, the fact remains that God rewards Job’s honesty with his presence. And more than anything like a child who is afraid of the dark, that is what I need. To know even when I am angry at the turn of events, even when it defies my limited understanding, He is there.
The liberating truth is that ultimately, God doesn’t intimidate; God authenticates. What God authenticates is your heartrending struggle to be in relationship with Love even when it feels like Love has left you.
From the series: Outlaw Christian: Finding Authentic Faith