I Just Don’t Know


And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know…..*

That is where I find myself today.
With questions about the future that can only be answered with;
” I just don’t know”.
I seek insurance like Job who would call his children together, to purify them and offer sacrifices in case they held secret sins in their hearts, that the things I fear most will not come to pass.
I bargain with God “If you do this, I’ll do that”.
But the truth is these futile efforts produce little control over the future, and even less over the events the future may bring.
I  question as the Psalmist did,
Who am I that you are mindful of me, that You even care?? (Psalm 8)
I feel insignificant, that my worries and cares in the big picture are not worthy of God’s attention.
But Scripture tells a different story.
Of a God who knows every hair on my head, who saves my tears in a bottle, who rejoices over me with singing.

I seek

I bargain

I question

I feel
And I am as unable to fathom His great love for me as I am to control the future.
God is God and I am not.
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God.*

And whatever questions I may be unable to answer I can have peace and confidence He is.
That is enough for me.

God is God
copyright Steven Curtis Chapman

Photo from the Hubble Space Telescope collection



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